We'll Carry On
by Slytherin's Silver Dragon
Summary: Though you're gone, your memory will carry on and so will we. She's gone and I miss her, my only love, but I will carry on just for her bacause she wants me to. WARNING: character death!


**A/N:** Here it is, the longest oneshot I've ever written in my entire life! The word count stands at 4,604 words excluding this Author's note and the title. Amazing huh? It took me ages to write! I got the idea after hearing 'Welcome to the Black Parade' by My Chemical Romance (by the way I do not like Gerrard's blonde hair!!!).

Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Titans or anything else in this story though obviously the plot is mine. Read on!

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**We'll Carry On**

The month had started out bright and sunny, it had felt as though summer had come early but a week earlier, that all changed. The sky darkened, the winds whipped through the streets of Jump City and the rain lashed against the windows of every dwelling, including the large T-shaped structure which stood atop a small rock outcrop not top far away from the shoreline of Jump City.

Today was no different, although it was not raining, the sky was still as black as night, clouds heavy and pregnant with rain, and the winds still tore through the city and beat against the buildings as well as the T-shaped tower. The streets were deserted, no body was found, except for one, a lone figure, sat atop the tower.

The figure didn't seem to notice the wind which beat against its body, causing goose bumps to rise on its skin. Nor did it seem to notice how its clothing fluttered noisily in the wind.

The figure sat atop the tower was Robin, the boy wonder, Batman's protégé. It was odd to see Robin sat down, normally he would be seen crouching atop a building, watching over the city or capturing some villain who had decided to stupidly attack the city. But what was odder than this, was to see Robin, not in his trademark traffic light coloured spandex costume but a black suit, so dark it blended with the sky behind him. He still wore his mask of course, yet it seemed out of place with the suit.

He wasn't one for wearing suits, he found them odd, uncomfortable and pointless but he felt he needed to wear one today, after all, it was customary to wear a suit to a funeral.

He sighed as he though about the day which loomed ahead of him, the task he had to face. He could not break down today, he needed to be strong but he didn't know if he could be.

"Robin, you up here man?" came a voice from behind Robin. Robin didn't bother turn round he recognised the deep voice as that of his friend and team mate, Cyborg. He raised a hand in greeting, and then let it fall by his side. "What are you doing up here, we gotta get to the cemetery."

"I needed to be alone for a bit, I needed to think." Was Robin's dejected reply, his shoulders were slumped and his head was down.

"Well did you need to think outside? It's freezing out here, even _I'm _cold." Cyborg said as he walked over to the ledge where Robin sat. He lowered himself to the ground and swung his legs over the edge, allowing them to dangle, mimicking the way Robin sat.

"Isn't it weird how the weather changed so suddenly? One moment it was bright, sunny and hot and now it's so cold and dark." Robin said, his voice low, it was clear to Cyborg that Robin had been thinking about this for a while. "It's like the weather's impersonating how we feel, how **I** feel."

"Is that how you feel Robin, dark and cold?" Cyborg asked, his voice full of concern for his friend.

"I don't know. I don't know if I can feel; I've never felt like this before, so bowled over by emotions, but at the same time I feel so empty." Was Robin's reply. Cyborg had never known Robin to be so open before and it startled him greatly.

"Empty?" Cyborg questioned "Why do you feel empty?"

"Don't you?" was Robin's reply, suddenly his voice was filled with a dangerous emotion, anger "Don't you feel empty inside? Or cold at least? I would have though this would have affected you just as badly! Raven was **your** friend as well, you were closer to her than I was, and I was sleeping with her! Don't you care at all she's gone? Or is your heart made out of just as much metal as your body is?"

"Don't!" Cyborg replied angrily "Don't you dare suggest that I don't care that she's gone! How could you think that man? You know me and her were close! She was like a little sister to me! You know I cared for her so much and you know I would have done anything to keep her alive and safe! I would have hurt anyone that touched her! And don't you ever bring up the fact that you were sleeping with her as if that's all she was to you!"

"You think that's all she was to me? A quick fuck? If that's true then why the hell do I feel as though without her I can't live anymore? You say you care so much but here you are, questioning me on how I feel, acting as though feeling like this is an alien thing. Maybe it is to you, in the past week you've shown not even one sign of missing her, or grieving over losing her."

"Just because I don't show that I'm grieving, just because I don't cry or scream like the others or go out and beat up every single crook I come across then brood alone like you have doesn't mean I'm not grieving over her. I miss her more than you'll ever know but I refuse to crumble and die because this happened. I'm going to carry on as normal, like Raven'd have wanted us to." Cyborg said. He looked forward defiantly, refusing to look at the Boy Wonder beside him. "Now get your sorry ass down to the T-car so we can go to the cemetery and get through this funeral."

Cyborg stood up slowly, he then grabbed Robin's shoulder and eased him up. He stalked off toward the door, marching Robin in front of him, eager to get the funeral over with. They got to the door but before Robin could open it, Cyborg said quietly

"This is the hardest part, once the funeral's over, things will start to get better, I promise."

Robin put his head down and walked downstairs to the garage, he climbed into the back seat of the T-car and he looked at his remaining team mates, eyes puffy from crying. No mirth glittered in Beast Boy's eyes, and no happiness glittered in Starfire's. Neither spoke, neither dared to breathe.

Cyborg climbed into the driver's seat and eased the car out of the garage and along the underground tunnel which led them into Jump City. He drove slowly though the city as the roads were slick from the abundant rain fall during the week. Robin looked out the window and watched the city he'd sworn to protect slide by. The city normally glittered with activity and colour but now all he saw was a bleak and empty place.

The T-car finally drove through a set of large iron gates and the scenery around Robin changed from houses and shops to graves of various sizes and shapes. He saw large ornate angels and small slabs of rock, mausoleums and even a small chapel. They drove for a few more meters before stopping in front of a large church which stood in the centre of the graveyard.

The four remaining titans climbed out of the T-car and solemnly made their way over to the church. They sidled in and headed toward the front pew which had been reserved for them as they were the closest Raven had to family. The rest of the pews in the large church were full of people. The front row on the left hand side of the church was where Titans East sat, Aqualad on one end and Speedy on the other with Bumblebee, Mas y Menos in the middle. The first few rows behind the front were full of honorary titans, many of whom had bowed their heads in greeting as the remaining titans had entered. Robin had spotted Argent, Kid Flash, Herald and a few others which had had a close relationship with Raven crying silently but when he saw Teether, Timmy Tantrum and Melvin, tears streaming down their faces as they tried to grasp why Raven was gone, he had to avert his eyes, least he break down.

Behind the honorary Titans sat the citizens of Jump City Raven had helped the titans save on a number of times. The church was full and yet people kept arriving. Robin smiled as he turned around and took in the number of people who had come to pay their last respects to Raven. After all she had said about no-one liking her because she was creepy, and now look at them, all there for her, all feeling the weight of her gone.

Finally a priest stepped up onto the platform in front of the alter and he greeted everyone gathered in the church. He nodded his head, made the sign of the cross and began the ceremony. As Robin listened, he speculated over who had decided that a catholic ceremony was what Raven deserved, it seemed ironic really, that the daughter of Trigon the terrible would be subjected to the words of a catholic priest who was preparing her to enter the gates of Heaven when in actual fact she was the spawn of hell. The thought made him giggle. He tried to stifle his giggles but it was hard, all he wanted to do was laugh out loud.

He finally managed to stifle his giggling as the minister walked off the platform and Starfire stepped up, his giggling immediately ceased, this part was what he had been dreading, listening to his friends and team mates pay their last respects to Raven.

Starfire sniffled and rubbed her eyes before beginning the small speech she had prepared a few days earlier "I am not yet fully accustomed to your earth ways," She began, her voice hitching as she read "many are strange such as the painting of toe nails with brightly coloured liquids and the 'girl talk' which females so often partake in. I had often tried to get Raven to join me in these strange feminine rituals which I was told was customary for friends to do but she often turned me away. It would hurt when she did but I knew she had a reason, she always had a reason for what she did.

Finally she explained to me about her life and why she turned down my friendship and we became friends because of her telling me this. We did not do the 'girl talk' or the painting of toe nails but we were still friends. We did meditation and we went to the mall of shopping sometimes. Raven taught me things about earth and its ways that no-one else had ever taught me about, she helped me see things and understand and even though she is gone she is still helping me understand, though the lesson now is grief." Starfire sniffled again and her voice rose two notches "I miss you friend Raven." She said, before dissolving in tears and walking back to her seat.

Next up was Beast Boy. His eyes were dry but held none of their usual mirth. He wasn't clutching a paper; he hadn't been able to write a speech "I had no idea what to say today." He began "I tried so many things but it was all wrong, none of what I wrote was good enough for Raven. I wanted my speech to be good and I wanted to lift everyone's spirits so I wrote lots of jokes but Raven never liked jokes, she never laughed at my jokes and she always told me I was immature but I know she wanted to laugh at some of them, she even told me I was funny when we first met.

We didn't always get along, me and Raven, but I always cared for her. She was quite and mysterious and I always thought she was creepy but she was the only one to ever understand me and make me feel human." He turned toward the rosewood coffin behind him which housed Raven's lifeless body tears welled in his eyes as he said the next part "I'm sorry for every prank I pulled Rae. I'm sorry for making you mad and I'm sorry I never gave you a moment's peace. I'm sorry for everything."

He climbed off stage, wiping furiously at his eyes. He didn't return to his seat, instead he walked out of the side door and into the graveyard. Robin watched him go and turned back to the platform in front of him. He watched as people got up to say a few words, each speech touching and upsetting in its own way. He listened as Speedy, Aqualad and Bumblebee spoke about their experiences with Raven. He smiled through Kid Flash's speech as his personality shined through and he almost lost control as he listened to Timmy and Melvin (who held Teether in her arms) talk about Raven. The speeches went on for a while until the only two left to speak were Cyborg and Robin.

Cyborg stood up first and clunked over to the podium; he stood behind the microphone, cleared his throat and said "I don't wanna talk about Raven here. I don't want you to know how much I miss her; you should all know how I feel. You see me standing here and you're expecting me to go into a long speech about how she was my l'il sis and how I miss her more than anything but you all know that so I'm not saying it. Raven knows the truth of how I feel, so why cheapen it by saying it out loud? I love you Rae." He said, as he turned toward the coffin "and I miss ya."

Robin felt a knot in his stomach as he rose out of his seat. He was sure his legs would give out from beneath him as he walked but they didn't. Finally he reached the podium and turned round. He took in all the faces looking up at him expectantly, his was the speech they had been waiting for, he was, after all, the boyfriend of the deceased. He briefly wondered if this made him a widower of sorts but didn't bother to ponder it for too long.

"Er…hi everyone." He began nervously, he was not normally one to be nervous but for some reason, he was. "I wrote a long speech for today, I had everything all planned out like I usually do but I'm not going to read my speech, I'm just going to say what comes to mind."

Robin took a deep breath, pulled the microphone off the stand and stepped down off the podium "I'm going to start by telling each and everyone one of you how fucking pissed off I am that Raven's gone. Not only is she dead but she didn't die an honourable death fit for a hero. She wasn't cut down in the midst of a dangerous battle, a battle which we won in her memory. No, the most powerful woman I've ever know was killed by something as mortal as internal haemorrhaging due to an ectopic pregnancy."

He paused as he let the news sink in. The crowd before him hadn't know the truth about Raven's death until now, the Titans were planning on telling the closest people the truth at the after party but Robin felt the whole world needed to know the truth.

"That's right, Raven was pregnant, and before any tabloid feels the need to bullshit about the greatest girl in the world, the baby was mine. So in a way, her death was my fault! Since we found out why she died, all I could think was that I could have saved her; if I hadn't fucked her she would still be alive! Or if I had kept a closer eye on her then she'd still be alive, or maybe if she hadn't met me she would still be alive! You see, in the end it all comes down to me, it's all my fault she's dead."

He took a deep breath and glanced around the room, his words were reverberating through his head and he knew he should stop cursing as he was in a church but he couldn't control himself anymore, his mouth was spilling words and yet his brain wasn't telling it to.

"Do you know she only told me she was pregnant the day before she died? She said she'd been feeling a little off for about a month but it was only when she really noticed the weight gain that she figured she might be pregnant; she said she hadn't missed a period at all. You wanna know the funniest thing of all, all this month its as though the weather has been mimicking our feelings, Raven found out she was pregnant and the sky cleared and it felt as though summer was here and everything was shiny and new, but the morning I found her dead, lying in her own blood, it changed, that was when it became dark and stormy, ironic huh?"

He was tired of standing and looked at the faces of the crowd; instead, he turned around and headed towards the coffin. They hadn't wanted the lid open for people to peer in at her and he was glad of this fact, he didn't think he could look at her and not break down. He peered at the cold hard wood of the coffin and continued to talk

"After guilt came anger. How could she leave me? How could she die? Why didn't she call me to come save her? Maybe she wanted to die; maybe she was sick of me, maybe, maybe, maybe. So many maybes and no real answers. It tore me up inside, not knowing the truth, I obsessed for days over why she left me, why she had to die, I would still be obsessing over it now if I hadn't fallen into depression. That's right; the steadfast Boy Wonder was depressed. I tried to kill myself twice, it's lucky that Star can fly so fast otherwise there would be two funerals today and not one but I'm not telling you about my depression because none of you deserve to know.

Up until just before this funeral I was still deep in depression and full of anger and guilt. I was still ridden with too many emotions to keep in check. But then someone told me something and it made me realise I was acting stupidly"

He turned away from the coffin and back towards the people gathered in the church, he stepped forward as far as the microphone cord would allow and he smiled at them "I could just imagine what Raven would have said to me if she was alive. She would have said 'stop wallowing in self pity Boy Blunder, it doesn't become you.'" He said in an almost perfect imitation of Raven's trademark monotonous tone "And then she would have kissed me and everything would have been fine.

I was told today that Raven wouldn't have wanted me to carry on like this; she wouldn't have wanted me to mope about, depressed and lost without her. She always told me that the world would still revolve if she wasn't in it and that life goes on. She once told me to never grieve over her if she died; she made me promise I'd live even if she didn't and all she asked was that I never forgot her, so I won't. I'll carry on with everything, I'll carry on saving the city, I'll carry on fighting the good fight and I'll carry on dreaming of Raven every single night. I'll never forget my dark Azarathian goddess. She may be dead and gone but she is not forgotten because I will make sure her memory carries on. I will never forget her; even if I forget who I am I will never forget her! Her memory will carry on in me and with it, so will her life, and the life of our child."

He placed the microphone back into its holder and walked back to his seat. He sat down and watched as the priest went back up to the podium. He continued with the ceremony but Robin no longer was listening. He couldn't care about what the priest said because Raven was no longer dead to him, she was no longer a body lying in a coffin but she was a spirit, an entity living on eternally.

Towards the end of the ceremony, Beast Boy sidled back into the church and sat beside Robin.

"Nice speech dude." He whispered to Robin hoarsely "Trust me; you aren't the only one who will keep Raven's memory alive."

Robin smiled and he suddenly felt really close to the changeling sat beside him. He reached out his hand and grasped Beast boy's hand before squeezing it in a brotherly gesture of comfort "Thanks" He whispered "And between me and you, she did find you funny."

He watched as Beast Boy smiled shakily at him. Tears coursed silently down the changeling's face once again and he wiped them away quickly. He squeezed Robin's hand and they let go simultaneously.

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The ceremony ended and the four titans walked solemnly up to the coffin, they were going to carry it out of the church and to the grave plot they had picked for Raven. The spot was beneath a tall willow tree up on a grassy mound behind the church. Raven had always loved willow trees and it seemed fitting that she should be buried beneath one. The four plots beside her had been reserved for the rest of the team when it was their turn to finally go.

They picked up the coffin and solemnly walked out of the church with the mourners following close behind them. The coffin was not heavy, even without Starfire and Cyborg's super strength they still would have managed the minimal weight without a struggle, Raven had never been heavy. Therefore it was easy enough for Robin to ask the titans to support her weight for a moment as he headed over to the door of the church where helium balloons had been tied to the handles. He untied four black helium balloons, tied them round his wrist and returned to his spot beneath the coffin.

They reached the plot and gently lowered the coffin onto the pulley system which was set up over a six foot hole. A Marker didn't stand at the head of the grave site yet but it was only a matter of time before one did. Robin had asked for it specially, unlike all the other headstones which depicted angels and heavenly bodies, this would have a stone Raven perched on top, ready to take flight. He felt the motion of it ready to take flight fitted Raven perfectly; her spirit was free though she never let the others see it.

It took a few minutes for all the mourners to gather around the grave site and many of them couldn't see the plot itself but it was comforting to know they were there anyway, even if they couldn't see what was happening. The priest from the church stood at the head of the grave and began another speech. Robin tuned him out, he'd heard this speech enough in movies 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust', he didn't need to hear it again.

It wasn't until he heard the squeaking of wheels that he tuned back in to the ceremony at hand. The squeaking he had heard came from the wheels on the pulley system which the grave diggers were now gently lowering, easing the coffin into the ground. It didn't take long for the coffin to sink out of sight, but for Robin, it seemed to last an eternity. Surprisingly, this was the hardest part of all, watching that coffin disappear into the Earth.

Finally, a dull thud resounded and the grave diggers loosened their hold on the ropes. The priest dropped something into the open grave before stepping back out of the way and allowing the other mourners to step forward and say goodbye one last time. Robin watched as each and every person stepped forward, some dropping rose petals into the open grave, others just glancing down before turning away and heading back to their cars. First the citizens left, then the honorary titans though those who were closest to Raven headed back to the titans tower for the wake.

He watched as Titans East each left a small gift for Raven, a red rose from each, before heading away from the grave and back to the tower, leaving the four remaining original titans standing there.

"Looks like this is it man." Cyborg said "The last time we'll ever see Raven."

"Not the last time." Beast Boy said from beside him "She'll never leave us; she's probably standing beside us right now, rolling her eyes at how we're acting."

"She probably has the sarcastic remark about us." Starfire chimed in "She would probably call us some strange name and then read her book."

"And then BB would try and get her to smile by telling her a joke." Cyborg said "And she would throw him across the graveyard."

"And then we would all laugh." Starfire continued "And go home for pizza and maybe the yummy rings of dough."

"Home won't be the same without her." Beast Boy said sadly.

"Speaking of home, we had better return, all of the other titans will be there." Starfire said.

"Star's right you guys." Cyborg chipped in "Ya'll remember what happened last time they were all there alone."

"Pandemonium, Raven called it." Robin said quietly. The other titans nodded in response.

Cyborg was the first to step forward. He stood at the mouth of the grave and glanced down at the coffin below which was buried under a mound of coloured rose petals and other goodbye gifts. "Bye Rae." He whispered before dropping a single black rose into the grave. He watched it flutter to the bottom before turning around and standing back in line with the others.

Beast Boy and Starfire followed his example, both stepping forward, whispered words of goodbye and dropping their flowers into the grave before turning back. Finally, Robin stepped forward and took one last look down into the pit where the body of the only girl he'd ever loved lay.

"I'll never forget you Rae. I love you with all my heart and I will love you forever." He said quietly. He clutched the black rose tightly in his hand, causing the thorns to dig into his palm. He felt a small trickle of blood flow and he let the rose go. He watched it seemingly float down into the grave followed by a small stream of his blood.

"I promise Rae." He said, stepping away from the side of the grave "We'll carry on." He released the helium balloons from his grasp and he watched them float up into the sky "We'll carry on for you."

He turned away from the grave and headed back to the T-car with the other titans following close behind. He heard a dull thud as shovelfuls of dirt hit the lid of the coffin, the grave was being filled. Her body was truly gone but her memory would carry on. Although they felt broken and defeated without her, the Titans would carry on.

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**A/N:** So that's it, what did you think? Did it make anyone cry? I hope I managed to convey just how everyone felt and it didn't fall flat! Please review I wanna know what you think! I love you all just for taking the time to read this story!!! 


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